I have been observing behavior through my practice for many years. In all these years the scenarios and persons might differ, but I have observed two constants in human behavior. First and foremost, most people have no understanding of how their mind operates and its influence on their biology. Consider negative thinking; negative thinking affects the way you feel, the way you perceive the world and others, and it also affects your health.
There is also a lack of consciousness on how what you say might not really express the way you truly feel. I do not say this in a critical way but rather, with true empathy. I, once, like any other child was introduced to the “swallow your feelings realm”. If I cried too much I either got lectured or given a piece of candy, anything to appease a tantrum or a cry. If I was upset either my mother or my teacher would preach that anger was wrong and it should not be felt.
Very early on I started questioning this, if not supposed to be felt, why did I feel it? If anger was not supposed to be felt, why did we even feel angry at all? The answers to these questions were either met with rolling eyes or did not come; eventually I had to learn the rules of “socialization”, and that was to keep quiet, but in the back of my mind a certainty would grow and ignite the research fire in me: I question! I really question it all, that was directed to everyone that taught me supposed infallible knowledge which was not based on common sense or reason.
The reason people are not in tune with their emotions and feelings is because these concepts are not thought at all by parents or schools (in reality we are all victims of victims). I believe that the practice of swallowing our feelings since we were children, brings about the eternal conflict with who we are. This has been the main topic of philosophers since the beginning of time, a question that supposedly has no clear answer. The reality holds, however, that there is always answers. These answers are only within ourselves, and are different for each and every one of us.
As much as society likes to label and group everyone and everything, we have been, are, and will always be individuals with our own identity and needs. Despite general consensus that insists in labeling us as imperfect beings, I defy that notion and declare that we are more than perfect, we are unique in every sense of the word. In reality we cannot be compared or measured up to anyone else.
We are so concerned with how everything else operates, we become experts in our car, in the economy, in fashion, but what about what allows us to do all of this? We avoid looking within and understanding who we are and what we need. I have the certainty that this understanding will transform who we are as human beings and also as a society. Suffering is not a destination but a state of thinking that creates a state of being.
Ignoring our emotions brings suffering and negatively affects our biology. We are equipped with the compass and tools to understand ourselves and this understanding not only ends suffering, self-inflicted harm, self-sabotage and confusion but addiction as well. All the answers we need to live in peace, resilience and joy are not external but only to be found within ourselves.
Knowing ourselves, requires getting still, and the compromise of realizing our needs and the impact it has on others, but it also allows us to pay close attention to the impact it has on ourselves. With that, it demands an understanding and acceptance of who we are, even when what we have become does not paint a pretty picture. Look deep, because paying attention always brings in consciousness. Understanding ends judgment and brings the realization that all happens is indeed a lesson that brings us closer to transformation, self-acceptance, self-love and higher awareness. I invite you to look within.
Smile. All you need is already within you. ML
